


Hark! The Herald Angel Sings

by SerenityStargazer



Series: Earth Angels [1]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Caught in the Act, Declarations Of Love, Fluff and Smut, Gabriel is the Lord's Herald, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Something New, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 13:36:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20292322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenityStargazer/pseuds/SerenityStargazer
Summary: Gabriel shows up at the bookshop to make an announcement for the Lord and sees things he can never unsee.





	Hark! The Herald Angel Sings

It was a rainy, dreary Sunday in Soho. The bookshop was closed and quiet, as if it were taking an afternoon nap. The only sounds were the tapping of the rain and a soft murmur of voices from far in the back of the store. The dimmed shop was suddenly filled with a flash of light, and a well-dressed being with short, dark hair stood at the front counter, double-checking his clipboard. His violet eyes flashed as he looked around, assuring there were no humans to be seen. With a grim look, he headed toward the back and the voices.

He walked into the back room and was stopped short by what he saw. It was rather like a horrific accident that you just can’t look away from. He stood silently, his clipboard forgotten.

On the sofa, Aziraphale and Crowley had been filling the afternoon with their own type of fun. They didn’t notice when Gabriel walked in because they only had eyes for each other. Several empty bottles of wine and two empty wine glasses covered the small coffee table. Aziraphale’s clothes were in a neatly folded pile on the armchair. Crowley’s were just...gone.

The demon sat on the sofa, his arms full of angel. His head was nestled on the angel’s shoulder as he nibbled and sucked love marks on his neck. His hand was wrapped around Aziraphale’s thick, slick dick, stroking him enthusiastically. The angel was facing him, impaled on Crowley’s cock and rocking up and down furiously.

“Oh, Crowley, dear, that feels so good!” the angel cried. “I’m so close...almost there!”

“Oh, Angel...Aziraphale...I love you!” the demon moaned.

“I love you, too, my dearest...my Crowley...my….ahhhhhh!”

The pair shared a thunderous climax that left them both keening and clutching each other tight. Their heads rested on each others’ shoulders as they gently rocked together and their eyes closed, enjoying the afterglow.

“Are you two quite finished?” the Archangel asked dryly. Startled, the couple looked up at Gabriel in frozen horror. Quickly, Crowley blanked his face and grabbed his dark glasses, hiding his eyes and feelings from the Archangel he hated most. Aziraphale was flustered. What was the correct procedure when your boss walks in and finds you coupling with your beloved? Seeing as it was his shop and Gabriel was the intruder, Aziraphale chose to go on the offensive.

“Gabriel? What brings you to my bookshop and why the heavens didn’t you knock first?” the angel inquired with all the dignity he could muster.

“This conversation might be more comfortable if you weren’t still…” the Archangel waved his hand dismissively…”doing...that.” Aziraphale waved away the mess from their bodies, slipped off from Crowley as discretely as he could, and miracled his clothes back on. Straightening his bow tie, he stood and faced Heaven’s Head Manager. “Very well. Now, I ask again. Why are you here? And how long were you...watching?” Embarrassment had been replaced by indignation, and he was working up to righteous fury.

Crowley just sprawled back and enjoyed the show. He didn’t bother with his clothes because he knew it made Gabriel uncomfortable. After the way Gabriel had spoken to “Aziraphale” during the Great Switcheroo, he would do anything he could to make Gabriel’s life as uncomfortable as possible. And he did enjoy it when his angel got a full head of steam on...providing it was directed at someone else, of course.

Gabriel stared at the naked demon. Crowley grinned lasciviously, waggled his eyebrows, and waved. Gabriel rolled his eyes and then turned back to Aziraphale. “Do you really enjoy doing...that? With...that?” he asked, waving at Crowley. The demon chuckled and answered first. “Ohh, yes! He enjoys it...a lot and often and in many different ways. He’s quite inventive and clever, is my angel. You should try it sometime, Gabriel. Not with me, of course. I’m a one-angel kind of demon. But I heard you grabbed Sandlephon’s hand when Aziraphale blew the hellfire at you all up there in Heaven. Maybe he’d be up for a go. Assuming you could both get those giants sticks out of your arses so there’d be room! Or perhaps Lord Beelzebub would be interested. I’ve seen those looks passing between the two of you.”

The rain sounded loud as thunder in the silence. Then Gabriel cleared his throat. He decided that ignoring the insolent demon would be his best course, and turned back to his insubordinate angel.

“Yes. Well. To answer one of your questions, Aziraphale, I was here long enough to hear...that...tell you he loved you. You know that’s just not possible, right? Demons simply cannot love,” he finished with that sure, smug smile on his face. Aziraphale’s anger dissipated, leaving him cowed and shaken.

Crawley’s face darkened, and he snapped his clothes back on as he stood up. Taking a quick step to Aziraphale, he wrapped his arm around the angel’s waist and kissed his cheek. “Pay him no mind, Angel,” he whispered.

“Oi, Gabriel, you wanker. Are you still angel enough to know love when you feel it in the room?” Crowley demanded.

“Of course!” the dark-haired angel snapped. And then he paused to sense the feelings in the room. Crowley turned Aziraphale towards him and gently kissed his lips, wiping away the tears threatening to spill over in those cloudy blue eyes. Aziraphale wrapped his arms around Crowley and smiled up at him. Crowley smiled down, smitten by that glorious beamy smile, just like always. The Archangel’s violet eyes opened wide in disbelief.

“It must be some kind of trick! It does feel as if this demon loves you. But...that’s... just not possible!” he sputtered.

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy,” Crowley said, quoting from _ Hamlet _ , never taking his eyes away from his angel. “I do love Aziraphale. I have loved him for 6,000 years; since first we meet in the Garden. He gave his sword to help the humans. He sheltered me under his wing from the first rain. He remembered my name and spoke to me kindly. I would defy Heaven and Hell for him.” Now Aziraphale’s tears did fall, but they were happy tears, full to bursting with love for Crowley.

Crowley kissed the tears away and turned back to Gabriel. “I would defy you, Archangel, to protect him. Now why are you interrupting our Sunday afternoon?”

Gabriel shook his head, not understanding what he saw before him. He knew what his senses told him, but they went against everything he knew as fact for millennia. How could a demon love? It was impossible, yet...there is was, right in front of him. What else might he be wrong about if this basic fact about demons was indeed false? He crept to the edge of doubt and looked over for a moment, before pulling back. Then he gathered himself and spoke to Aziraphale, continuing to ignore the demon.

“I came on command of the Lord. It certainly wasn’t my idea.” He tapped his clipboard with the attached paperwork. “She required me to be silent and seek you out without advance notice. I have no idea why She wanted me to see what I can’t unsee. Now, if you don’t mind, I have an announcement from Her. Perhaps it is finally time for you to Fall, Aziraphale. You’ve certainly been eating and drinking and screwing up long enough to warrant it. An archangel can hope.”

Gabriel put down his clipboard and stepped towards the couple. He grew taller and larger and glowed, full of the authority of the Almighty.

“Hark! I am Gabriel, Herald of the Lord! Lo, She has sent me with a message for the angel Aziraphale and the demon Crowley.”

“The Lord has seen your comings and goings and goings and comings, and is well pleased. It is Her Pleasure to create something new upon the face of the Earth. Aziraphale and Crowley, spread out your wings!” he commanded.

Mystified, the pair did as the Lord bid, manifesting their wings on the material plane. All three gasped in surprise at the sight. Gone were Crowley’s black feathers, midnight darkness replaced by shimmering grey and silver splendor. Gone were Aziraphale’s white feathers, shining purity replaced by the same grey and silver shimmer. As they wondered, Gabriel continued to speak for the Almighty.

“These two are the start of a new division, supporting neither Heaven or Hell, but rather, Earth and all the inhabitants thereof. They shall be my Earth Angels, protecting and guiding the humans they have both come to love. They shall be humanity’s champions. They shall answer to neither Heaven nor Hell, but be on equal footing with both. Their assignments will come from Me or Lucifer. They are granted unlimited miracles to help them accomplish their duties. However. Aziraphale, mind you that marshmallows for your cocoa can be purchased at the store. And, Crowley, you might try simply taking your clothes off occasionally.”

Gabriel’s holy light dimmed, then resumed before he could speak. “Also, in case I have not made Myself clear, I am well pleased with the Love shown by these two. If, in the future, other entities discover the joy of bonding together in Love, they will be given the option to join the Earth Angels. Yes, Gabriel. I am looking at you. Lucifer has agreed with me to allow demons who have learned to Love Rise to the Earth. Likewise, angels who willing choose this path will Fall, but only to Earth.”

“Further instructions will be sent from Lucifer or Myself directly to the Earth Angels. You need not be troubled with them further, Gabriel. Unless you wish to speak to them, of course. Your prerogative, my dear. Next time, though, I would advise you to knock first.”

The holy glow faded, and Gabriel returned to his normal bearing, leaving the three of them slightly stunned. Gabriel recovered first, asking,”May I look at your wings, please?” in a strangely subdued voice.

“You may look, but please do not touch,” Aziraphale replied. “Touching is reserved for my beloved only.” He smile at Crowley and squeezed his hand. Then he stepped up to Gabriel to allow the archangel to marvel. The feathers were a soft grey with a pearly shimmer, like the sky after a rainstorm. Where the light caught them, they had a silver iridescence.

After a minute or two, Aziraphalel cleared his throat. He dematerialized his wings, and Crowley followed suit. The angel was still irritated with Gabriel and wanted to test out that “equal footing” part of the announcement. “As interesting as this visit has been, I think it might be time for you to depart, Gabriel. I think Crowley and I need to discuss this in private. To examine our wings together by ourselves. To do whatever we blasted well feel like doing...alone! I really don’t understand why the Almighty allowed you access to such a private moment to begin with, but I think your visit should be done. I guess it’s just…” he sighed. “Ineffable.”

“You don’t understand?” Gabriel sulked. “She made you something new. Rewarded you for sullying yourself with a demon and food and...humanity. I have worked so hard to toe the line and do whatever She wants...but She... She is ‘well pleased’ with you! I don’t understand, either!”

“Perhaps,” Crowley drawled, coming up behind Aziraphale and wrapping his long arms around his angel’s waist, “She just enjoys the unexpected surprises that comes with Love. Obedience can be so...boring. I think She prefers to mix it up. Experiment. I mean, look at the platypus! Nothing but surprises with that beastie. Maybe you should try something new and see what brings you Joy, Gabriel. It might surprise you. And that can be a good thing.”

Aziraphale softened. It was hard to be angry with Crowley holding him. And the archangel looked so lost. “Gabriel, you are welcome to come back and continue this conversation tomorrow. Perhaps you could go to lunch with us. Maybe try a bite of something yummy. Or a sip of wine. Or just sit and watch the humans as they chat and enjoy each other. There are many wonderful things to try here on Earth. I truly enjoy food; Crowley prefers alcohol. Crowley enjoys sleeping; I prefer to read. If you explore a bit, perhaps you will find something here you enjoy. Work is ever so much more pleasant if you have a hobby of sorts that makes you happy.”

“But you don’t even enjoy the same things!” the archangel protested. “Why do you spend so much time together? You’re a demon and an angel! What do you do?”

Crowley and Aziraphale looked at each other, then at the sofa, and then back at each other, trying not to laugh. Aziraphale started giggling and then Crowley burst out with gales of laugher,

“What?” Gabriel asked. “Why are you laughing? What is it you like to do?”

Crowley looked pointedly at the sofa. “Well,” he choked out. “We really enjoy doing each other!” The two of them collapsed on the couch, holding each other and laughing so hard they could hardly breathe. 

Gabriel shook his head. He understood that they were referring to that messy sex thing they were doing when he came in, but was puzzled about the humor in it. Maybe he would think on it. From the safety of his office back in Heaven.

“Goodbye, Aziraphale,” he said. Then he hesitated. “Goodbye, de-...Crowley. Perhaps we will talk later. Have lunch or whatever.”

“Yeah,” Crowley said, trying to stop laughing. “Have your people call my people. We’ll do lunch.”

Gabriel left with his clipboard, still shaking his head. The demon...Earth Angel...had such a strange sense of humor.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Drunk Storytime - Hark! The Herald Angel Sings by SerenityStargazer](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23986285) by [Quefish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quefish/pseuds/Quefish)


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